The art of unpleasing

"Am I now trying to win the approval of human begins, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galations 1:10


I recently had a situation a lot of people had given their advice on. They all had their opinions on how I should handle a situation and I was afraid of how they would feel or look at me based on the decisions I made about it. In fact I was so afraid of disappointing others or their opinion about me changing based on what I did that it consumed me. The over whelming pressure of wondering if it was the right decision based on how everyone else felt over came me to the point where I didn't know if it was my voice or their voices in my head. And the worst part is even when I prayed about it I could get no comfort because I allowed everyone else to over take my thoughts. I was in confusion and in annexed swaying one way or the other daily for weeks. So over whelmed by the pressure that I just wanted someone to tell me what to do straight up so it would no longer be my responsibility. The problem was, I was so over whelmed by trying to make sure I pleased everyone else I couldn't even hear the voice of the one person I should have been listening too.
I recently read a daily devotional series that covered this topic a few times. It pointed out that worrying about what everyone else thinks about you, or how they'll react to what you say is a form of adultery. We can be so afraid of what others will think we fear talking about God, praying in public, or saying we went to church when asked what we did for the weekend. And although my particular situation may not have been a direct spiritual one it was still a life choice that God should have been a part of and not shadowed out by others. Its important we remember whose opinions really matters in our life. Its hard not to focus on what other people may be thinking about us, but in the long run they don't matter. Their is only one persons opinion that truly matters in the end. And its the one person who truly wants the best for you. So in tough decisions don't ask what will my boss think, my best friend, my co-work, sister or even spouse. Ask yourself one question what will God think.

Feeling His peace

For quiet sometime I've struggled with knowing how to know when God is speaking to me, or knowing how to know if he is really there. I recently had a big life change where I ended a relationship that had been a big part of me for quiet a few years, and although I don't know where God will lead that situation in the future, I do know that I felt a peace about it. Something was telling me that for now I needed to focus on re-building me.
Despite that fact I have felt that way it is still a hard situation letting go of someone or something in your life that has had a large impact for an extended period of time, and on one particular night I was feeling pretty down and just lost. I went out on a bike ride to try and clear my head, but was still just feeling like something was missing. A voice in my head kept telling me to turn on my music. I finally put my head phones on and switched my Pandora to a Christian rock group station and that's when I heard Him, God, telling me he loved me, and was here for me in a song I felt was speaking directly to me. And then another one came, and another, until I started feeling relaxed and at peace.
After my bike ride I got home and decided I needed to go for a run as well, but was worried cause my phone battery had been going low very quickly for last few weeks and I only had 50%  battery life. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to track how far I was going and listen to my Christian music without it dying on me. I took my chance and set off. Half way into my run I just smiled when I looked to see and my phone was still at the exact 54% it had been when I left the house. Another small blessing from God.
This may seem silly to other people, they  may question that God actually speaks to people through music, especially Christian rock. I feel that's how we miss him though. He is there trying to speak to us in things he knows we appreciate, weather it be a kind stranger on the street, a sweet word from our child, a beautiful sunrise or sunset, God is reaching out to us. We just need to look at the simple things to feel His peace.


A link to the song that I first heard.
http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=09MC1CNU

reaching others

Sometime last week I was approached 2 times by 4 Mormons, they were in groups of 2. The first group was 2 girls who shared a little bit about their faith, but mostly just spent the time talking to me about my cat and dog who I had been walking. Later on when I saw them again they remembered my name and said hi Michele. The second group was 2 guys, one of which had already approached me at a park about a week or 2 before. They began talking to me about my bike that I had just got off of, and then the one who had already met me went into religious questions. I answered them the same way I had before thinking he may remember me, but as he kept talking I realized he had forgotten talking to me. Off of my responses he was sharing the same stories he had previously shared a few weeks earlier, and it suddenly felt rehearsed and non personable. It is great that they are off sharing their faith and, I'll admit, that they are doing far more then I ever do. But I feel that while sharing your faith is good, making personal connections will last longer in the long run. I'm not sure if the 2 girls will remember me in the future or not, but they seemed to make more of a connection and I didn't feel like just another number on the list of people I've witnessed to today.
 I challenge everyone who has faith, and wants to share it to think of how you would want to be approached. All though I have my own faith, I never stop these young people from talking to me. I'm polite and talk back because they do start making a connection by trying to talk about my interests, but I don't want to feel like it was just small talk and you weren't actually listening to anything I've said about me.
 We are sharing the truth about an amazing God who loves each of us individually and when doing so we need to look at everyone individually and not in the same mold. Jesus witnessed and shared God's love with all walks of people and never the same way and remembered each of them for the unique story they added to his life. When I share or witness to others, I want it to be in away where it is remembered, not only by them, but by me as well. I'm praying to night that God not only helps me bless others but gives me blessings from those he puts in my path.

Only Human

Psalms 118:8
"it is better to take refuge in the Lord then to trust in humans."

Today while driving to meet some friends a song came on the radio entitled Only Human. In the song the artist starts by saying all the things she can do, a few of the things included being able to bite her tongue, fake a smile and force a laugh. Ending with saying she can play the part if that's what's asked, and give all she is. But after listing all the things she can be, she goes into chorus saying "but I'm only human, and I bleed when I fall down, I'm only human and I crash and I break down..." Just this first part of the song got me thinking how we sometimes tend to forget this. We expect so much of each other and except us to do it without fail. The problem is we are all only human. We aren't perfect. We do bleed and break and can only take so much. And by putting co-workers, spouses, parents, siblings, children, friends etc on this pedestal and expecting so much we end up hurting them and ourselves. Because we are all only human and we will all break and at some point with to much pressure and demands on us, we will disappoint ourselves and those around us. Its hard to remember that none of us can go without fail. We want those around us and ourselves to be able to be forever dependable and never fail, but there is only one who can truly never fail us. And that is our creature and savior. Its okay to seek support and help from others around us But if they fail us or aren't able to do things the way we expect them too we need to remember, we are all only human, and there is only one who can be there for us without fail and with ever lasting love.

Staying close to God in good and bad

It's been a while since I've put in entry in this blog. Today is more of just personal thoughts and how I want to try and improve my spiritual walk.
Even though I wish it wasn't true I find that when I'm hurting and down is when I run to God. Going to God when I'm hurting or when I'm lost and unsure where to go is a good thing, I just feel guilty that I still struggle with not always going to him when things seem to be going good. So in this hard time of mine that I'm having right now instead of focusing on my struggles and pains  I'm simply going to pray that God gives me strength and courage to stay close to him when things start getting better. The rough times come and go, but if I let him he'll Always be there.  I want the faith and strength to stay focused on him and not my struggles.
 So lord please and guide me in all I do give me peace through my day and help me to remember in all times good and bad you are there and want to be there with me through it all. Amen.